


Ahoy, Matey

by Melusine11



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Co-workers, F/M, Finn and Rose mention, Pirate Puns, This is crack and I'm sorry, but maybe a little, but not really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-21
Updated: 2019-09-21
Packaged: 2020-11-02 10:35:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20716721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Melusine11/pseuds/Melusine11
Summary: A slightly belated Talk Like a Pirate Day crack fic. Rey is into the holiday, Ben can't escape.





	Ahoy, Matey

**Author's Note:**

> For all of the people (no one that I'm aware of) who have been bummed that I don't include anyone talking like this in Hiraeth, but mostly for my own amusement because I can't help myself.

“Arr, good mornin to ye, Ben,” Rey greets her office mate with a drawling gravelly tone, face screwed up in what he thinks is Rey attempting to imitate a pirate face. Whatever that may be. She’s mostly just scowling at him, one eye almost winked shut

Ben freezes, cup holder with two coffees and croissants held in one hand, while the other holds onto the strap of his bag. “I beg your pardon?” He asks, frowning down at Rey.

They have been working in the same building for a few years, but some genius above their pay grade decided to shuffle departments around and their work was adjacent enough to share a space. So for the past four months, he’s been getting to actually know Rey and her adorable quirks. This one though, he doesn’t know where to file this one.

“A scallywag if I ever did see one!” She growls, hooking her index finger and shaking it at him. Then she grins. “Oooh! Coffee?! And it’s international talk like a pirate day, Ben.”

“That’s not a real holiday,” he scoffs, lowering the tray so she can grab her cup and breakfast without leaving her chair.

“‘Course it is!” She says around a mouthful of croissant and Ben smiles a bit before sliding into his own chair.

He logs into the system, attempting to surreptitiously google the holiday and is sipping his coffee when Finn swings by to say good morning. Rey shouts, well loudly exclaims, she would never actually shout in the office, but she has been quiet until Finn shows up and then ‘Avast!’ And that startles Ben enough to jolt and spill some of the coffee.

“Ah, me apologies Captain Solo,” Rey slides over to him, a box of tissues out in offering.

“What the hell, Rey.” Finn is laughing as he watches Ben curse and try and clean up the mess while Rey keeps foisting tissues on him.

“Does no one know about the sacred holiday that is Talk Like A Pirate Day?” she huffs, throwing up her hands.

Finn blinks, glancing between them and laughs again. “You’re making that up!”

“I am not! Ben, tell Finn.”

“The internet says it’s true,” Ben sighs, tossing the soggy tissues into the trash and resuming drinking his coffee.

“Huh, well, uh, I’m off, you two enjoy your piracy,” Finn chuckles and quickly retreats.

Ben doesn’t think anyone really notices, at least not right away. Rey is definitely doing some other kind of accent, and he imagines she thinks it makes her sound like a pirate, but she’s mostly been swaying somewhere between her normal one and a really bastardized sounding Scottish thing with _maybe_ some cockney thrown in for good measure. She says ‘Aye’ a lot. And then just a bunch of what he’s pretty sure is complete bullshit.

That’s how Ben ends up with five different tabs open and reading instead of working. Because it’s the only way he can attempt to parse what the fuck she’s saying to him. He’s also 99% sure pirates didn’t _actually_ talk the way Rey is talking.

It’s just after lunch when Rey ends a call, slamming the phone back into the cradle and exclaiming, “son of a biscuit eater!”

Ben laughs and spins around towards her. “First, I’m pretty sure no pirate ever said that, quit making shit up. Second, that bad?”

“To the plank with ye!” Rey turns to face him and then laughs. “Aye. That bad.”

Ben groans, rubbing a hand over his face, holding over his mouth to hide his grin as he mutters, “oh my god. I can’t wait for this day to end.”

“So dramatic,” Rey teases, then turns back around to continue working. Ben lingers, watching her for a moment before returning to his work. Actual work. He closes the tabs and decides to just let it all go.

She definitely says ‘ahoy’ to Rose when she stops by, dropping off some folders for Ben, and then he’s trapped there while both of them embrace the holiday.

“Ben!” Rey cries, bolting from her chair at the end of the day as he stands to leave.

“Aye?” He drawls, then grins at the little victory dance Rey does.

“I knew you’d embrace it,” she crows, “but, I was wondering if you wanted to go out? Grab a drink, you know, to make up for the coffee thing this morning.”

He hesitates as he watches her grab her purse and sweater, and when she finally turns back to face him she looks nervous.

“You don’t have to!” She rushes to say, “I just thought-”

“Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum?” He smiles as he shoves his hands into his pockets and rocks back a bit onto his heels.

She relaxes and loops a hand around his elbow. “Aye, me hearty - that’s the spirit!”

He lets her drag her to whatever bar she wants, and has immediate regrets when they step through the door, a live band is playing shanties and the people behind the bar are dressed up as pirates.

“It will be fun,” she says, pulling at his arm, “I promise.”

Rey grabs them drinks, tells him it’s grog when she sets the glass pints on the tabletop and laughs when he blanches. “It’s not _real_ grog, just the house special, try it!”

It’s not terrible. And sometime after the second drink, while he thinks they’re winning trivia night, he realizes he is having fun. Rey has taken his side of the booth, so they can better discuss answers, and she pilfered a hat from someone, and Ben has to keep dodging out of the way of the corners of it, but he’s having fun.

The prize is a pair of matching plastic eye patches and ‘gold doubloons’, and bragging rights. Rey slips hers on quickly and then stares at Ben until he follows suit. He feels ridiculous, but Rey’s smile is bright, and she’s wearing one too, so at least he isn’t alone. 

“Well shiver me timbers,” she whispers, picking up the hat and settling it on his head with ease. Ben rolls his eyes and lets her adjust it to her liking and watches her lean back and survey him. “You look like a proper captain now,” she tells him with a smile. 

“Do I?” he asks, amused, because he’s sure he looks anything but, still dressed in his office clothes. She hums in affirmation. “Well,” he says eventually, licking his lips and leaning closer to her, “I think, to be a proper captain, I need some treasure and not this paltry plastic.” Rey’s chest heaves with a breath as he winds an arm around her shoulders. “Tell me Ms. Niima, do you know where I might be able to pillage and plunder some booty.” He wants to hate himself for what he’s just said but Rey slumps against him and starts laughing. 

She manages a mock serious tone when she finally surfaces to answer, “Aye, captain, I might.”

Her lips still taste faintly of grog when he finally kisses her outside, and when she sighs against him he decides maybe this fake holiday isn’t all that bad after all.


End file.
